so my husband is being sent over for the first time in march and to be honest i have no idea how to handle it.the thought of me being along here scares me real bad.I dont really know anyone here except for one real good friend whoms husband leaves the same time,were going to be emotional together, and my FRG hasnt done squat to help i havent heard from them in nearly a year.Im hoping for some advice on how to get threw this without falling apart.how to i keep on with the day to day stuff knowing he's not here to help anymore,and that i went from husband and wife to army wife( single Mom)? please this is causing some serios grief i hope ya'll have some good advice for me and thankyou in advance. 

One, your children alone will help get you through this...at least mine have every deployment I have been through (so many now that I am a pro at it-not bragging, just been through ALOT). They will need a schedule to keep them going and that will in its own way keep you going as well. Two, friends, even online ones, are always helpful. They will be your sounding boards for everyday things. The internet, your cell phone, and house phone becomes your friend big time. Keep busy as much as you can..be it reading, watching movies, playdates (if you have kids), crafts, etc. The emotions you will feel will be all normal. We all go through them even if it is our first or 8th deployment. Don't feel bad about venting if they get too much. We all understand, we've been there. Really its ok to fall apart too, we all do that...even if its not as evident. No one will ever knock your for it. I don't breakdown til days after mine leaves, then it hits me. I pick myself up after that, and go on. I feel bad for you that your FRG is like that because they will be your outlet for info--not your only one, but an important one. Bad FRGs irk the heck out of me. That in its self is a vent thread all by its self, lol. Deployments are hard, and in the end you get through them stronger than you were before. Stuff will get thrown at you and you will get through that too---even thinking "why the heck me?" Set up a plan for how you and your hubby will communicate, it helps... sit down and let him know your expectations, BUT realize that sometimes he can't meet them-not because he doesn't want too, but sometimes because he's not able too. My hubby and I had set up that he would email when possible and IM when possible too....in the end the last deployment, he talked to me almost everyday, and I was sooooooo not used to that. It was nice, and then it was irritating when we had nothing else to talk about. Everyone has their own comfort zone on this, and not every spouse will be where he/she can contact us here every chance they get. My ex is in an area he can rarely talk to his wife or our children, so he calls when he can and emails. If you just need to talk feel free to PM me. Like I said, sometimes you need a sounding board and its nice to have someone that has been there and done that. 

Very true, your children will help you get through this! This is pretty much the time we are mommy and daddy, I will be honest the first month will be hard, but you will be strong and it will become easier, remember the woman you were before you met your husband? Dependent and you knew you could handle anything that was thrown your way, well be prepared to become a person like that just older, more matture and of course married. Things will get thrown your way and as long as you keep your head high you will get through anything, remember it can only get better after it gets worse. You'll be just fine don't worry. 

hey, i sent you an email earlier... (it is the daisy_petals2000@yahoo) this will be our 4th deployment and i don't mind being a shoulder. shoot me an email back and maybe we can get together. ~Amy 

thank you all for the advice it's such a scary thing looking down the tunnel at it and yes we have a daughter she will be 2 in march ; ) i love her to death yet fear i wont be able to give her what she needs in the days after he has gone, i think i'll be alright it's just the quite that gets me , the being the only adult in the house ya know, yep pretty eirked myself about the FRG thing but hey im finding some prety good people threw RU.I shudder at the thought of the day i say goodbye and driving home alone, i kow ima need to summon some serious strengther. ohh and my husbands in B2-1 GASB CAB chinook mechanic 

Im in the same boat. I dont know how to feel or what Im going to do. We own our home. What if something breaks, what if I cant fix it? What if I have few friends to keep me busy? What if all I do is take care of kids and thats it? How will I feel about that? What if he doesnt feel the same way about me when he gets back? I dont know. I have so many what ifs and so many confusing thoughts about it. 

This all normal Christa, what you both will realize though when he gets back, you both will be different people, him being over and getting back to living life here and with being a family man again, and you will notice how different you've become, you will be more independent and used to doing things without having someone to always be able to look to help to. It takes time to adjust for them to be gone, but don't worry hun you're going to be just fine! Even though I wont be here at riley anymore I'll still be coming on here believe that! 

HBL (sorry don't know your 1st name) - There will be plenty of us sticking around the area during the deployment to be a support group for you! We'll all be in the same boat (or a very similar one anyway) and we'll be glad to help out each other! :)