Ok so my husband and i decided to quit smoking in febuary. We ordered the ecigarrettes and havent lookee back. Atleast i thought. It helped me quit and i dont even use the ecig anymore. A couple of months ago i kept finding packs of my hubs cigs all over the garage in hidden places. I asked him and he got upset saying they have probably been there forever. I know how we were with our cigs. If there was one missing we knew much less misplacing a pack. I then found them in his bag when i grabbed his pt clothes to wash them. He apparently had changed brands. I asked him about these. He said they were not his. I then found that same brand hidden through out the garage and finally got upset and told him that if he is smoking again to please just tell me. Dont lie to me about it. He got pissed and saud if he was gonna be accused then he will go buy them and left and bought a pack and smoked them. Then proceeded to tell me i was acting like his ex wife. I got so upset. I keep smelling smoke all over him and i tell him he stinks like cigs. He gets pissed again and says hes arou.d it at work. I left it alone for a month or two and i went to garage this morning and sat down on couch out there because i was starting to have contractions. When i put my hands down it went in the crack of the couch and what do u know. There are 2 open packs and 3 empty packs hidden in the crack. I threw the empty packs away and broke all the cigs and put them back where they were. He hasnt been out there yet today but he will be. He had me thinking i was going crazy and my nose was deceiving me. There is a guy that is stayi.g with us who smokes another brand and when i go to kitchen and ask where my husband is he gives me the deer in the headlight look and claims he doesnt know and stomps his foot. Which my husband can hear in the garage and then comes walking in. Im tired of it. I dont care if he smokes. Just dont expect me to be around it. But dont lie to me!!!, make me think im going crazy, accuse me of acting like your ex wife because you got busted!!!, and have enough respect for me to tell me. I may not like it but if you want this marriage to work then be honest. Sorry so long i just dont know what to do with this. 

Life's too short to be fighting over non sense like this in my option. 

I know. Thats why i have just given in and said i didnt care just tell me instead of hiding it and calling me crazy like the ex wife. thats what hurt the most 

Well life is to short to be lied to for months from the one person you should always be able to trust. He is only saying the ex wife thing to you is to put blame on u also so he doesn't feel as guilty. I'm sorry u have to go through this, I could handle a lie that went on for a couple days but not for months. 

So im not crazy for feeling this way? The cigs i broke this morning he finally found. He was quite pissed but didnt want to tell me why. He blamed it on being racked on accident which happens but hes never been mad about it. I just told him he needs to tell me why he is mad and stop hiding things from me cause i know what he does cause ive seen it with my own eyes. All he could say was are u effin kidding me wow 

No I don't think your crazy. It sounds like he's not going to be fessing up anytime soon. Wish I could tell u what to do.... 

That kind of stuff bugs me too... my husband is guilty of it a number of times. I usually just tell him to quit wasting his time hiding it because hes not fooling anyone. 

I don't think it's 'nonsense' and I don't think this is about cigarettes; I think it's about trust.

Of course you care about his health, but you care more that he loves you enough to respect your feelings and not lie to you. That's the real issue. Frankly, he's a grown man who could smoke like a chimney if he pleased; but his guilt is causing him to turn things around on you like it's your fault. And the 'acting like my ex-wife' comment? That was a carefully placed barb to hurt you enough to leave him alone.

When my husband has ever done something to break a promise to me (smoke, spend money, etc) I never ask; I state it as fact. When our daughter was about a year old, he started smoking. I didn't marry a smoker and I for darned sure didn't want to be married to one, so in no uncertain terms I told him I expected him to quit. So 2 months later when I found cigarettes in his pocket, I told him what I found and expected an answer. Not 'are these yours?' but 'these are yours, you broke your promise to me and your child and we need to fix this'. It's kind of like when women find panties and makeup and ask their husband, 'whose are these?' All that does is open up the door to 'I don't know!' Like fun, you don't know. Man up, admit it, and let's talk this out.

For now, the issue of smoking has turned into a game with your husband; that's why he really, honestly believes that as long as he says he isn't smoking and hides it things will be okay. You need to let him know that you aren't crazy, that you know he is smoking, that you expect him not to do it in the house and to have meticulous hygiene to cut down on the smell, and that when he's ready to act like an adult and quit, you'll be there for him. 

On top of everything else, you're pregnant? 

Thats my point. I do care that he smokes. We both did. I would rather him not lie. Huge trust issue. And yes im pregnant and due any day now. That was the whole reason we quit 

This should be a point in your lives where you are overjoyed over the impending birth of your child. I think it's cruel and ridiculous to put you through this crap, particularly with you due any day. I hope, for your sake, you are both young and have room to grow emotionally; however, you did point out he's already had one failed marriage. Obviously, approach things delicately as you can, but I think counseling over bigger issues might be the way to go here. I hope and wish you the best; try to relax and destress. Think happy thoughts. c; 

Preach it Tee C. Good advice