So my husband is a 2nd lt and i met a girl whos husband was enlisted and I dont care because im not ranked and ya know the deal. Well she was ok but everytime her husband came back from training or was home she never called and i was ok with that. but my husband said that maybe her husband doesnt want her to hang with me. I was ok with that to because why be friends with someone who is being controlled. BUt ive met someone else she is real cool and we love hanging out but my husband is worried that its not allowed? he went through ROTC so they are drilled into them that enlisted and officers cant hang out and i keep telling him that its them not the wives.. but ive hurd some wives even look down on it but I dont care am I wrong for not caring about that rule? Im not making my husband or her husband hangout its just us and the kids... so I need just advice?! no need to get overly aggresive about rank please.... 

I don't think it's a big deal.... I would still hang out with her, but that's just me . 

I am with ad0410, I don't think its a big deal with spouses as much as it is with the soldiers. I can understand where your husband is coming from with the whole fraternization issue as some units/commands make a big deal of it, at least more than others. There is an actual AR on it all that outlines it all. I have many friends whose husbands are of different ranks, both enlisted and officers. Even my husband hesitates sometimes because some take it to an extreme and do get huffy, plus start trouble, when enlisted and officers hang out. Let me point out that it doesn't just happen with these distinct groups either. Sometimes its frowned on for a Senior NCO to hang out with a E-2--just an example. Especially when they are in the same unit or platoon and the Sr NCO is the E-2's boss. 

yeah our husbands arent even in the same unit. they havent even met eachother/know eachother. So its not like they are even communicating. 

yeah our husbands arent even in the same unit. they havent even met eachother/know eachother. So its not like they are even communicating.


Then I don't see it as an issue for them to hang out either, but that is just me. We don't do rank in our house. You walk in my house, rank is not worn. This is just us though, as some really do take it into consideration. 

i know what you mean qiwks but it doesn't matter as much with the wifes. the guys just can't hangout a lot together. i'm in the same boat you are and i actually find enlisted wifes easier to hang out with and be around myself. But, my advise as long as it doesn't cause issues between you and your hubby i would do it no matter what anyone else thinks. 

i agree jennie rank is for work not home life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

yeah he wants me to be happy but like u said i find enlisted wives much easier to hang out with and we have more in common. the officer wives i have met dont have kids yet or are way older than me. so i just dont feel comfortable around them...shes my ages and we both have girls and they are the same age so its easier to be around her. i just didnt want to cause problems u know? 

hmm maybe this is why my hubbys team leader doesnt hang out with him anymore E-5 to my hubbys E-2 now E-3! Hubby is bummed. We dont have a lot of friends and hanging out for a couple months and now nothing makes us sad :( 

yeah i understand. im 24 with an almost 13 month old and one on the way. most of the officer wifes i know are older or younger without kids. 

rubies87 i just dont fully get the don't hangout with lower enlisted thing. to somep point i do but if it doesnt interfear with work than i don't see an issue. they need to get out of someof the old school military thinking 

OFFICERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HANG OUT WITH SOLDIERS.. they could get an article 15 and possible kicked out for it..

BUTTTTTTT.... there are some officers that hang out with soldiers..

now as far as the wives hanging out they cant stop it..they control the soldiers not the wives. my hubs is an officer and i still hang out with the lower wives and i dont use his rank to rub it in anyones face.. at one point EVERYONE WAS A private etc.. lol


to the wives that look down on the lower ranking.. YOU WILL GET YOURS SOONER OR LATER..

were all on the same team so get ova your self..

TO THE chicka dee that asked the question. friends are hard to come by these days. so dont let that one go lol..

if anyone says different let me know..

yall have a great night 

I think most women would side with their husband. I would, just to make things at home easier. I have to live with my husband, not my friend lol. I don't see a problem with it to a certain extent. If you become friends with someone, sometimes you want your spouses to be friends as well. That's not always possible in that situation. 

yea it honestly just depends on what YOU want to do.. every situation is different..

other officers w/ there wives come to our place and hang out with the lower soldiers w/ there wives.. we all bbq play cards etc..its nice even there 1st sgt come over.

they all said if they hang out with each other all day everyday at work.. theres no reason that the wives cant.

even in ft hood and ft carson..
no one ever had an issue with it.. shoot we even had the post comander stop by and have some bbq lmao..

then where here at ft riley where everything is a$$backwards. you sneeze and you get arrested lmao

i dont care what rank you are.. you come over ima treat you like family..so come on over n have some bbq. lets chomp this up..

just depends on what your comfortable with. 

It is only considered fratenization (sp) if the officer is part of the enlisted person's chain of command, and they are hanging out. That's when things can (but not always) get out of hand. But for the most part most people I have found don't care, and if they do care, they sure aren't worth my time! 

The officer spouses only interacting with officer spouses (and the same for enlisted spouses) is outdated. It was previously done more for protocol than anything. However: could it cause problems between your spouses? Potentially. If your husband isn't in your friend's husband's chain of command though, it should be fine. 

yeah thats what i thought. as long as he wasnt in his chain of command it isnt't a big deal. but they haven't even met and its not like we are making them hang out lol. yeah friends are extremely hard to come by especially people that you can actually relate to and get along with. @wasssuppp i love how you stated that "i dont care what rank you are.. you come over ima treat you like family..so come on over n have some bbq. lets chomp this up.." lol that is how more people need to be!! thanks ladies you've given me very good advice! 

I never understood the whole "lets not be friends because of hubbys rank" thing either I think after the boots come off it should not matter because at the end of the day we are all in this together no? 

i would think since there having everyone live around each other that it wouldnt be a big deal i thinks its only a big deal if they work together ...we use to have great friends and my hubbys only e-5 and her hubby was e-8 and we had another friend and her hubby was e-7 and no on cared ..they moved =) we didnt even know that my one friends husband was e-8 till like a year after we met ..we seen him in uniform hahaha ...other then that its not a big deal ...we use to all belong to the same club ...rank or no rank people are the same ...if there worth being friends with then it dont matter!!! 

Fratenization (sp) is only for the command. If they do not work together its not a big deal to me at the same time some people believe it is a big 'no no'. It's long been that officers look down at enlisted and enlisted think officers are goody goody. Since the time my husband went to basic, I never cared about rank and never saw the big deal about it. I have wonderful friends of every rank structure. Like hershey kisses I have been out with a group of friends and met new friends/aquaintances and didn't know rank at all and didn't care to know. In fact some of our officer friends when they come to our house we tease about 'coming to the cheap side of the neighborhood'. Its all fun and games because at the end of the day they are wonderful people who would do anything for us and we would do anything for them. 

i dont care what rank you are.. you come over ima treat you like family..so come on over n have some bbq. lets chomp this up..

I love this, lol :D. 

I think it's probably best to listen to your husband. While fratenization is regulated in the command, the army world is very small as we all know and word spreads like wild fire. Your husband would know what he could catch hassle for and what not. I don't think wives should purposely seperate themselves from others because of their husbands rank, the husband earned the rank- not the wife so it's kind of above their paygrade lol. Everyone puts their pants on the same at the end of the day, but if your husband is uncomfortable or hers is I think its based on something they have been told by someone higher up in their command and it would make his life easier to either not do it or do it discreetly.