There is something bothering me, and as an adult I would like to have a calm and intelligent discussion about it. I'm really hoping that it happens, and that this dosen't turn into a huge dramatic mess like things have a habit of happening. I have a friend who recently joined the army. I am pretty happy for her, except I was talking to her and I said "Is your new unit scheduled to deploy anytime soon?" She told me that she wasn't sure, but not that she'd heard. Then she said "It isn't like I'd deploy anyway, I would get pregnant to avoid it" I kind of took a step back. I was pretty irritated about it, I wont lie. I was talking to my husband later about it and I said "I have very little respect for females that get pregnant to avoid a deployment". I was thinking about it more, trying to see all sides of it, and honestly the more I thought about it the more upset it made me. Not only are you bringing a life into the world based on a desire to NOT do something, but I feel its shamefully done. I realize I have never gotten on that plane myself, so I can't say I know the feelings that go on. I have put my husband on a plane though, and I know that side. I can't say "I understand you are afraid" or anything along those lines. However I do feel like YOU signed a contract and joined a military knowing it was a time of war. If this is the first time the thought of a deployment has crossed your mind, well you didn't think joining through. I think its a breach of contract personally. I understand accidents do happen, but to intentionally plan to get pregnant to avoid something is just plain irresponsible (You are letting down your unit) and dishonest. I got to thinking about it more also, because there are men that avoid a deployment by claiming to have this or that. I was thinking about how this is the female version of that. I guess I have no respect for anyone intentionally dodging deployment. Now don't get me twisted, I understand there are legit things that keep you from deploying. I understand things happen and that you may not be 100% healthy. I am not knocking those people! If you are hurt, honestly hurt, this isn't my complaint. If you got pregnant on accident then okay. I guess I am saying if you are intentionally avoiding a deployment I have no respect for you. I guess it might sound mean, but that is how I feel. How do you feel?? 

I Agree with you. After my husbands unit got back last deployment there was this girl in his unit that said she would get pregnant before this deployment. ANd sure enough she got pregnant right before they got deployed in march so she woudlnt have to get deployed. Now I have been told if someone higher up heard her say that she could get in trobule and possibly kicked out for purposly getting pregnant to avoid a deployment. Like you said they knew when they signed the contract that they could possibly get deployed female or male they should suck it up and do what they signed up for and not try to get pregnant or male make an excuse on why you cant get deployed 

well said! and i completely agree w. everything you've stated. any soldier who is joining up in a time of war knows they might be deployed eventually. if she was not willing to do that, then she shouldn't of joined. she is part of the reason why female soldiers get bad reps. 

IMO If you dont want to go on deployment then maybe you shouldnt sign up for the military 

That makes me sick! I mean there are enough kids in the world NOT getting cared for the right way. To get pregnant to avoid deployment?!?! She has NO business in the military or having kids. It's bad enough for a man to dodge deployment, but at least they aren't irresponsibly bringing a child into the world. Not to mention how stupid it is, she will eventually have to deploy, she can't just keep having kids. 

I completely agree. Kind of funny, a long time friend of mine and I were discussing just this topic the other day. Both her and my husband have been deployed 4x now (all year-long deployments). It irritates me because there are soldiers are there female and male who do stupid things to get out of deploying. My view, yes you signed a contract but this is also what you've trained for. Now I may get some slack for this next opinion but that's just what it is, an opinion... I think that if you are "non-deployable" then you shouldn't be in the military, period. IF a soldier has a condition that is treatable, etc then that would be an exception, but this permanent profile crap, sorry, but if you are not up to par to do what you've been trained for, then there's no reason to keep you. JMO though... been around this block 4x now in 11yrs. I've seen and heard A LOT. 

i also wonder who she is planning on getting pregnant by??? is she in a serious relationship or is she gonna sucker some guy into having sex w/ her so she can get pregnant? its a bad situation all around... 

but this permanent profile crap, sorry, but if you are not up to par to do what you've been trained for, then there's no reason to keep you. JMO though... been around this block 4x now in 11yrs. I've seen and heard A LOT. Well depends on what they are on profile for. IF they are on profile becuvase they had knee surgery back surgery whatever then ya i can see that they need to get out. But my husband is on a permante prfile for flat feet. His feet are so flat that they are starting to curve the oppoisit direction then what they are suppose to. But his profile says that he can run to do missions just doesnt have to run for pt. He does run for pt when they are doing pt but as far as a pt test he only has to walk. So IMO i guess it depends on what they are on profile for 

It is sad because you do have females out there that do that to get away from deployment. When I deployed the first time my husband deployed with me since we were in the same unit and I ended spending 13 months out of the 15 over there before going back home because I was pregnant my son is two years now and for the past 1 1/2 years we have been talking about having another child but it was always dropped and then brought back up again. now we both are to be deploying again this fall sometime(we are in the same BDE again) and of course he bought up again with having another child. Of course I want one and he does to because we both want a girl. I just dont know what to say because we both agree that yes we want to try. 

if you are not up to par to do what you've been trained for, then there's no reason to keep you. Yeah, you knew that would raise opinions..lol. But I agree about 1/2. I really don't think a lot of the people on permanent profile really are unable to preform, they just don't want to. BUT, if you have served your country and deployed like everyone else and got to the point where you couldn't do your job like before I don't think you should loose all that time in and just get the boot. This career is to get to retirement and taking that away from a soldier (and his family) after 15 plus years is just not right, especially when there are jobs that don't require deployment. I mean what if that was your husband getting kicked out after 11 years in? I just think the PProfile has been abused. I think women should be charged if they get pregnant after they get deployment orders. It IS preventable. 

I think that if you are "non-deployable" then you shouldn't be in the military, period. IF a soldier has a condition that is treatable, etc then that would be an exception, but this permanent profile crap, sorry, but if you are not up to par to do what you've been trained for, then there's no reason to keep you. We've also talked about that one. I agree. In my opinion, if you have a permanent profile stating you can't run why would I want you to be by my side in a situation that may call for running? I mean think about it, What if I were shot, and my battle is injured and on a profile because they have a condition. I have to depend on them, and they may have something preventing them from helping me in a timely fashion. If it is serious enough to be on a PERMANENT profile, then you should be chaptered. You should get VA benefits and money for it, but you shouldn't be in the army. If its a temp. profile then ya, okay, work yourself back to health. That I understand. This is obviously a whole separate can of worms. I guess I just feel like a male or female doing or saying things to get out of a deployment or training is dishonest (You told the army you would meet their needs when you signed your contract) and disrespectful (All those around you that you are letting down by not going, and all those training hours for nothing). 

If a woman is getting pregnant just to avoid deployment, that is wrong, but its hard to tell someone who just wants a family that its wrong for them to get pregnant. I got pregnant prior to one of my deployments, not on purpose, but I was happy that I was pregnant because my husband and I wanted to have a family. 

Sorry, I don't think being married should give you any more right to get pregnant before deployment than an non married woman. Getting pregnant while being deployed is just as bad. I think it should be an automatic charge if not discharge. If you want to have another baby do it after you get back. If not, you shouldn't be in the military. 

I got pregnant prior to one of my deployments, not on purpose, but I was happy that I was pregnant because my husband and I wanted to have a family. That is why I said, if it wasn't planned that way I wasn't directing it at that situation. I mean I know accidents happen. Trust me, I had a little scare not to long ago. If you didn't do it because you didn't want to deploy then that's fine. If your motive is to get out of something then ya, above applies. Even if I had an accident tomorrow I would be thrilled, Not the timing we hoped for, but I love being a Mom. 

Tiffany I have to disagrre with you because like Kristle said not all married couples do it on purpose and nothing wrong with want a family or more. and if you have been trying for a while and it happens before deployment good on you and happy for you. With me When I got preganant in Iraq on deployment I was on birthcontrol because I couldn't get a cycle so the docs put me on it and the next month I was preganant. So every situation is different 

I'm sorry, I'm not saying you shouldn't have kids. Being a mom is the greatest. But I absolutely don't agree with any double standard in the military, and getting pregnant while deployed is not ok IMO. Pregnancy is always preventable, it just depends on how careful you choose to be. If you have been trying to get pregnant and get orders you should stop trying until after. Planning kids is great, but if you can't plan around your deployments then you shouldn't be in the military. That's my opinion, my husband would get NO sympathy if we got pregnant before a deployment. If it's ok for a soldier to pop up pregnant before a deployment because she is married than there is nothing to stop this woman from doing it on purpose. Like I said, I don't believe in double standard in the military, that's all. 

At Ft Drum there was a Commander that announced if you got pregnant after recieving your orders to deploy he would ensure you were dismissed from the Army. He chaptered 3 female soldiers before my husband's unit deployed. Two of these soldiers got pregnant to avoid deployment. It was known, they made it known. They didnt care. Neither of them had been deployed before and 1 of them just graduated basic 5 months before. He assured them that if it happened he would do whatever he had to do to make sure they recieved no health benefits as fast as he could. It took less than 2 months to chapter these two soldiers out. They recieved nothing! Which was a great consquence for stupid actions! 1 of the soldiers has since come back into the Army. She gave her child up for adoption and came back in saying it was the biggest mistake of her life. The other one went on to marry a soldier friend, saying she was going to get the benefit one way or another. So they made an "arrangement". This commander after deploying also kept a soldier that was pregnant overseas until the last day he was forced to send her back. They have a certain time frame they can stay over there before having to be sent back. And he told the soldier he would ensure she was kept there till the very last day, unlike how they typically did. And he kept his word. She was so mad, but like he said..her actions not only take from the mission it takes from her commrades by making them have to cover for her. I think it is a pity how people can be so shady. But I love this commanders way of thinking! 

To each their own I suppose, This is how I saw the situation presented to me. I think being a mother is wonderful I would never want someone to be denied that, however I guess I just think that if you've made a commitment to the Army prior to trying then that is were your priority lies. People are going to do what they want, and its incredibly hard to prove someone did something intentionally. I guess I just have a strong opinion about this whole thing. 

But I love this commanders way of thinking! I agree with him completely!! If it hinders the mission or puts any soldiers at risk it should be held to the highest offense. 

That happened on my last deployment that 2 females got preganant right before deployment so when we got there thats when they found out and had to be sent right back and the Commander did the same but when it went up to legal my law they could not do that and only thing was just send them home. Now do some legal people just let it slide yes but really you can not do that. And I see it like this if you are not married and get preganant then its one thing but if your are married then thats another and its not that same 

oh and Proud Cav Wife, I have to disagree with you on the permanent profile. My husband has a permanent profile for running. He has been in the service for 10 years and when he was in basic his tibia/fibula snapped because they were bowed slightly and the constant marching and running caused undue pressure causing the breaks. But my husband's MOS does not require that he run, therefore they gave him the profile (5 years later)instead of Med boarding him out. Now, my husband still runs, he just runs on an inconsistant basis. He might run on Monday, but not Wednesday, but again on Friday. He runs when he feels comfortable, because he wants to keep in shape, and not damage the area again. When you get Med boarded out they consider your job and whether or not you can perform it to the capabilities of the Army, if so...they allow you to stay and give you the permanent profile. It does not make you worthless if you cant do certain things but can do others. They also weigh in whether or not you would be beneficial in wartime or if you become a risk. With that factor in, if there is a negative impact, they will release you. They also factor in if in an emergent situation arose if you would be able to react appropriately. There are lots of things that they base chapter on. If a person avoided chapter, then they can do what they need to do when they need to do it. It just means they cannot do the action on a permanent everyday basis.So dont think that because you have it, you are rendered worthless by the Army or unsafe to your comrades. My husband's permanent profile would not keep him from having your back or being able to perform actions in keeping you safe, or helping you. 

i just wanted to say, for danielle, at least with her being in iraq her and her husband were able to do the "do" unlike most members who deploy with or without spouses, for 7-18 months, and have sex with any and everyone, bringing home diseases. not every one will agree, but thats life.... . even when using a condom and or birth control preventing pregnancies aren't Guaranteed. and for the female side of the contract with the military, it does not state that they can't have their families, (i went through the process) however like some of you have said, if they are caught while on full active duty planning it to happen on purpose then they can be discharged/charged but thats up to the C/O. its not technically considered a breech of contract unless the company deems it so. now for what cav wife is saying, yes it is sad that she decided to plan her pregnancy around a deployment... and for everyone else who said its a irresponsible way to have kids, that i agree with as well.but sex while deployed, i know everyone will have their opinions, and mine is this, EVERY branch of service does it. and the "fraternization" between non married members happens both here and mainly over seas that is something we can't change cause even the higher ups take part in it while there. as long as it doesn't interfere with the mission so for all the unplanned pregnancies that came home from Iraq and everywhere else thats their fault. now for the women in the military even if they miss a deployment now because they got pregnant, having that kid next time the cycle comes around still doesn't keep them here. when you are a female coming into the military, the contract states that (for women with or with out children) we have to be ready and willing to sign over parental rights to another responsible adult within our family if deployments and training is necessary. i didn't sign my contract because of that because i can't see anyone else raising my kids other than my husband and i and (he's active duty) so that was a no go, but to each their own i guess. now this is all IMO an my own personal experience with my friends and family who are deployed deploying/ or on deployment 

i just wanted to say, for danielle, at least with her being in iraq her and her husband were able to do the "do" unlike most members who deploy with or without spouses, for 7-18 months, and have sex with any and everyone, bringing home diseases. not every one will agree, but thats life.... . even when using a condom and or birth control preventing pregnancies aren't Guaranteed. and for the female side of the contract with the military, it does not state that they can't have their families, (i went through the process) however like some of you have said, if they are caught while on full active duty planning it to happen on purpose then they can be discharged/charged but thats up to the C/O. its not technically considered a breech of contract unless the company deems it so. now for what cav wife is saying, yes it is sad that she decided to plan her pregnancy around a deployment... and for everyone else who said its a irresponsible way to have kids, that i agree with as well.but sex while deployed, i know everyone will have their opinions, and mine is this, EVERY branch of service does it. and the "fraternization" between non married members happens both here and mainly over seas that is something we can't change cause even the higher ups take part in it while there. as long as it doesn't interfere with the mission so for all the unplanned pregnancies that came home from Iraq and everywhere else thats their fault. now for the women in the military even if they miss a deployment now because they got pregnant, having that kid next time the cycle comes around still doesn't keep them here. when you are a female coming into the military, the contract states that (for women with or with out children) we have to be ready and willing to sign over parental rights to another responsible adult within our family if deployments and training is necessary. i didn't sign my contract because of that because i can't see anyone else raising my kids other than my husband and i and (he's active duty) so that was a no go, but to each their own i guess. now this is all IMO an my own personal experience with my friends and family who are deployed deploying/ or on deployment 

Its so hard to tell when someone has made an honest action or if they are doing things to get out of deployment. I think I would view it different if this chick was deemed a "barrack Ho" versus a married soldier. I think I wouldnt be as hard if it was a married soldier versus the other, if the situation arose. But those woman that are running around announcing it to everyone that they would try it to get out of deployment...They would be forever sitting on the couch! Because they should be kicked out! 

I can understand that, in come cases. Your explanation makes sense, and I'll admit that I can see your side. IF your MOS dosen't require you be able to do something your profile prevents then your right and I am wrong, however if you have a very physical MOS and cannot preform then you need a new MOS or to get out. I guess being that my husband is a combat MOS and those guys just sit on their rears because "They cannot preform" I have only seen that side. If all you can do is sit while others do your day to day job then I take issue. However you are right, if you have a job that isn't like that, then yes, They should be allowed to stay. I was viewing it from the MOS my husband has and not thinking of ALL the jobs available. So I stand corrected, Permanent profile should earn you an MOS you can handle (Non-Physical) or a med-board. Your right Torri 

I think I would view it different if this chick was deemed a "barrack Ho" versus a married soldier. I think I wouldnt be as hard if it was a married soldier versus the other, if the situation arose. But those woman that are running around announcing it to everyone that they would try it to get out of deployment...They would be forever sitting on the couch! Because they should be kicked out!  totally agree 

if you are not married and get preganant then its one thing but if your are married then thats another and its not that same That is a double standard and has NO place in the military world. IMO Why should married women get away with it? They could get pregnant to avoid deployment just like an unmarried woman. 

They usually do Cav Wife. That is the first option versus getting medboarded. They try to fit you with a MOS that doesnt require the physical aspect because 65% of the Army DO NOT DEPLOY. They always need people in the rears to keep the post running, or the admin guy overseas to keep water coming to the base, or food delivery in the FOB... there are so many jobs that just dont require you to be a top runner, or to lift 100 lbs or climb a mountain. They like for you to be prepared because you never know what may happen but the likely hood is less. So yes, they do try to get you another MOS before they chapter. 

I'm with Tiffany. You're basically saying if my friend is married this changes your outlook completely than if she isn't? Either way it boils down to the same general complaint, Someone is getting pregnant to avoid a deployment. At least that is how I am understanding what is being said. I guess this conversation can go on forever. My main complaints have been stated. An intended pregnancy to avoid a deployment is wrong (My opinion) and male soldiers having "Problems" that aren't legit to avoid a deployment are equally wrong. I could go on and on all day, but I have to accept everyone will make their own choices. If my friend (And actually maybe its friends now) choose this route it isn't like I can stand in her/their way. That is their choice. I can only state an opinion (I have) and focus on their other qualities. As much as I disagree with the choice, and as much as I hate the idea it isn't my place to do anything more than tell them how I feel (I have) and hope they are happy with their choices. I've let everyone know my personal opinions, and I've seen how others feel. That's all I can do. Hopefully they (With a little help from God) do whats best for them. I wont change my opinion, but I accept I cannot change others opinions also. To each their own. 

but not all do some have been trying to get pregant and it happens right before deployment. Are they wrong no. Some can be carefull and still get pregant is that wrong no. Some do it on purpose now that is wrong. But you can not say that a married couple did it on purpose if they have been trying for a year or 2 and it happens during deployment after or before.