ok so in high school my husband wasnt exactly the best of role model he had his issues.Now 6 years later he has come a long way, graduated he's in the army (duh) he's an E3 promotable, wife daughter flight crew crew chief etc. yet when we go back home for a family emergency all they can say is why didnt you take off your uniform? they didnt notice his rank ribbons or medals.yet they see everything his younger brother whos in HS does. can anybody tell me what i can do to help him? I hate seeing him treated that way it brings his morale down big time.Thank you for any advice that can be given  

I feel for you, as a wife I faced this issue with my hubby's family and he still deals with the "family" mentality.. the best advice I can give is to remind him that although his past is was it is... you know the him that has grown up, and he is the man that you love. It takes a lot for families to realize we are not screw-ups for ever and let him know that he is important to you and your family:) Hope this helps. 

There is always divorce from your family. Just because they are family doesn't mean that you have to like them, talk to them or even be around them. You keep encouraging him and telling him what a great job he is doing. If you have to be around his family, be sure to bring up his promotion, new ribbons, accomplishments, etc. There is a good chance that his parents will not recognize how lucky they are to have him as a son and as such your husband needs to live his own life and concentrate on "his own family"--you and your family. If it makes him feel bad every time he goes around his family, avoid the family at all costs. If they call and are mean tell them you can't talk. My shrink said that you as an individual come before your family. You have to take care of yourself so that you can care for your family. Maybe if your husband has friends that encourage him that will help as well. But you stand up to his family because he probably can't tell them what a remarkable man, soldier, husband and father he is. It is their lose and not your husband's. Just standing in front of a mirror saying "I am a good person, I deserve good things, I don't deserve to be treated the way that I, I deserve the best, I am a good person." Sounds crazy but it can really help. 

I would just say, be proud of him, and tell your family that not only does it hurt him it hurts you as well....if they cannot except him for the wonderful man he has become it is their loss....who can hold somthing aginst someone they did as a young immuture boy? 

Amen LMN but you know some families they never let past be in the past...which is so unfortunate because they miss what time and maturity brings out in all of us :) 

Yea I know that.....:(