I'm so sick of seeing so many wives talk about or rant on facebook about not being able to keep their phones on them at work and threaten to quit because they've missed calls, messages, etc from their husband. Okay, yes, my husband is deployed, but if I'm in school I can't interrupt class to run out to the hallway or answer the phone right there in class. What about wives who have their own careers (I mean not a food, retail type of job ) where they're doctors, therapists, teachers, etc - I'm pretty sure if they're in say surgery, talking with a patient, or working with 20-30+ kids they can't just stop in their tracks and run to answer their phone!! I know if I missed a call or wasn't online when my husband was on, he'd at least be relieved to know I'm living life like normal and not just sitting around waiting for him 24/7. Yes, I absolutely love hearing from my husband no matter it be a phone call, facebook message, letter, etc I appreciate whatever type of communication I can get with him and don't take a bit of it for granted. Some spouses hear from their deployed spouse more than others and quite frankly you might be one that is hearing from your spouse more than someone else. To get mad about it is quite petty; appreciate what YOU have and don't compare it to others situations. If I was to quit school all because I missed a call or message, I'd never finish.
End of rant =) 

I know what you mean. When my hubby was deployed I was still in school, and he could never remember my schedule or the time difference so he ALWAYS called when I was in class. So aggravating. Finally we set up a system where if I didn't answer and he had time, he would message/call me every 20 minutes until I was able to answer. It worked out pretty well since he usually called toward the end of my classes.
Point: You have to accept that you both have busy schedules and figure out ways to work with them. Being attached to my phone isn't always an option.
There were a few military girlfriends/wives in my classes who kept their phones on LOUD and would run out into the hall for 20 minutes or longer to talk whenever their phone rang. So RUDE! And it gives the rest of us a bad name. 

Exactly! Your way I can definitely understand, but the ones that think they're above the rules and can have their phones on them at work, on LOUD (hah - I saw one that does the EXACT same thing!), etc. Yes, our spouses are deployed, but that doesn't give any of us any right to have special treatment. I remember one of my teachers talking about phones in class and ONLY if it's an absolute emergency does he find it acceptable to interrupt class to walk out to answer and that "If he/she is calling you then you know he's/she's safe and know you can carry on w/ your life and he'll be there when class is over". Unappreciative people need to get off their high horse and realize your job, school, and so on doesn't cater to you! If a spouse was to call from overseas and their spouse didn't answer I highly doubt they'd be getting all p'd off and throwing a fit to the co-workers! 

Job Interview:
(at the end of the interview)
Employer: Do you have any questions for me about the job?

Applicant: Yes! My husband is deployed fighting for this country so you have freedom to hire me and I don't get to talk to him much. I want to make sure this place understands that no matter what I'm doing, how busy we are, or whatever is going on that if my phone rings or I get a message from my husband who, like I said, is deployed I will have my phone on me so I am able answer it promptly! Oh yes, question of course just one - When would you like me to start?

Employer: Well, with all that said...I still have more interviews, but if your qualifications fit our needs I will be in touch. 

Unfortunately some women depend on their husbands waaaaay too much. They live through their husbands. They aren't independent enough to live without them. Right now we are going through a deployment and some of these women are completely falling apart. Some have been through more than one deployment. I just don't understand how some women are clingy and completely dependent on their husband. I guess I was never raised that way. You can live your life after your husband leaves and you're going to be ok! You're not going to hear from them everyday, but just cherish the time you have when you do hear from him. Blows my mind lol. 

Unfortunately some women depend on their husbands waaaaay too much. They live through their husbands. They aren't independent enough to live without them. Right now we are going through a deployment and some of these women are completely falling apart. Some have been through more than one deployment. I just don't understand how some women are clingy and completely dependent on their husband. I guess I was never raised that way. You can live your life after your husband leaves and you're going to be ok! You're not going to hear from them everyday, but just cherish the time you have when you do hear from him. Blows my mind lol. 

I have found that there are generally 2 types of military spouses: the dependent spouse, and the independent spouse. The former can't function and shuts down when their spouse isn't around.

Sometimes deployments aren't a bad thing for the dependent spouses because it teaches them to be independent--but for some people it doesn't matter. They just can't function by themselves.

I remember in Germany (when we lived on the economy before we moved on post) there was a woman in my building who sat for days with no food. Her husband was in the field in Graf, she didn't drive, and it didn't dawn on her to put her kids in the stroller and walk to the Commissary down the street. Her 2 older children (who where 3 and 5) literally sat for 2 days without eating because her husband always took her grocery shopping and she was lost without him. When the third child (a baby) ran out of formula, she finally knocked on a neighbor's door and asked for help. The neighbor drove her to the Commissary but she was so disturbed that she dropped the woman's name to ACS and they came out to check on her. I was amazed, but mostly saddened that someone would be so dependent that they Then there are the women who kill the engines on brand-new cars because they don't get the oil changed because "hubby always does it". Not to mention the spouses who get upset and feel neglected because their husbands can't drop everything they're doing and take their phone calls at work. These are usually the spouses who believe that when they marry a soldier/sailor/airmen/Marine, that traveling around with them and supporting them is optional. They refuse to move away from "home", but still expect the marriage to flourish. It's amazing. 

That's crazy Tee C! Not being able to feed herself or children, because she couldn't get to the commissary. That's pretty bad. I know two women on post that were raised to always let the man be in control. When their husbands were home they were always home. They were rarely allowed out and one of the women had to have her outfit approved by her husband. When both men deployed, including my husband, one of the women was so thankful to be making her own decisions. The other became a hermit waiting for her husband to call and he did, multiple times a day.

Before I got married I was naive. I thought we lived in this world where spouses were equal. That's how I was raised. Then I started meeting all different types of couples. Many had equal relationships. I was shocked to see women so submissive like that, and also for men to take complete control of everything. It's one of those things you hear about and then you become involved and it really opens up your world. 

You're not going to hear from them everyday, but just cherish the time you have when you do hear from him.

AMEN!

Not going to the commissary, because her husband would always take her?! WOW! My husband refuses to go to the commissary or grocery store in general and that is something I prefer to do alone. Unless I'm in no way able to go to the store (like when I had gallbladder surgery) he will go if needed, otherwise it's not going to happen. I know everyone is different and I'm not bashing husbands that do go, but it's odd to me at times (unless you have multiple children and would like help when you go). I guess I could say mostly the men that look totally lost and confused being there LoL.

Shoot, this is my husband's first deployment while us being married (his 3rd total) and I know the last thing that would be beneficial for either us would be me sitting around waiting for him 24/7. I went to bed at around the time I wake up in the morning today (5ish) and I missed his call at quarter til 6 since I was knocked out (I'm a hard sleeper and he knows it lol), but I know he's safe and doing well since he was able to call me and that makes me feel better either way. 

It's odd to you that men go to the commissary? My husband likes to cook, so he likes to go grocery shopping, too. He also likes to pick out his own snacks and lunch supplies sometimes. We also see it as time we can spend together, since he usually works 12+ hrs a day and sometimes nights.

We usually make a trip out of it and get groceries and then eat out somewhere together, since we live 25 mins from there. There's no need to be so judgy about something so trivial. 

Many war veterans prefer to skip out on commissary trips not because of the male stereotype (it's a stereotype, not judging), but because they don't enjoy being in crowded, confined spaces. 

I know everyone is different and I'm not bashing husbands that do go, but it's odd to me at times (unless you have multiple children and would like help when you go). I guess I could say mostly the men that look totally lost and confused being there LoL.

You're right, there is no need to be so judgy about something so trivial.  

My husband is the same way UGrew. He hates shopping period, since he says I take to long. He would rather me leave our daughter home with him and I go. If he has to go, because I have to work then he is in and out. He wants a list and doesn't compare prices. Grabs it and goes lol. 

It's odd to you that men go to the commissary? My husband likes to cook, so he likes to go grocery shopping, too. He also likes to pick out his own snacks and lunch supplies sometimes. We also see it as time we can spend together, since he usually works 12+ hrs a day and sometimes nights.

We usually make a trip out of it and get groceries and then eat out somewhere together, since we live 25 mins from there. There's no need to be so judgy about something so trivial.

I see you have selective reading and like to take out words out of sentences, huh? My husband likes to cook too, but he doesn't go to the commissary. Like I said everyone is different, so clearly you proved my point right there by getting defensive over something so trivial.

I know everyone is different and I'm not bashing husbands that do go, but it's odd to me at times (unless you have multiple children and would like help when you go). I guess I could say mostly the men that look totally lost and confused being there LoL.

You're right, there is no need to be so judgy about something so trivial.

I know right, some people like to read only what they want to read and ignore the rest. There's a quote button so you can copy & paste to reply to it...if you missed words the first time you can read the whole thing again when you reply ;) 

My husband is the same way UGrew. He hates shopping period, since he says I take to long. He would rather me leave our daughter home with him and I go. If he has to go, because I have to work then he is in and out. He wants a list and doesn't compare prices. Grabs it and goes lol.

Haha, oh yeah my husband rarely compares prices and if he absolutely has to go to the commissary there's no comparing prices there. He's hates big crowds/a lot of people around, so one big reason he doesn't like it lol. 

I really hate it when people say "I'm not trying to be offensive" or "I'm not bashing" or whatever, and then go and say something offensive or bash people. It doesn't make any sense.

I'll read someone's judgmental comments as such whether they preface it or not. I can't say "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to hurt you" and then punch someone in the face. If it hurts, it hurts, whether you say so or not. 

I really didn't see what she said as judgmental...she was surprised to hear that some husbands will go to the commissary every time because hers never goes. Why is that judging? 

I really hate it when people say "I'm not trying to be offensive" or "I'm not bashing" or whatever, and then go and say something offensive or bash people. It doesn't make any sense.

I'll read someone's judgmental comments as such whether they preface it or not. I can't say "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to hurt you" and then punch someone in the face. If it hurts, it hurts, whether you say so or not.

Okay well that is clearly your opinion just like this was my opinion. Keyword here is 'to me'.
husbands that do go, but it's odd to me at times
I didn't know "odd" was such a hurtful or offensive word. 

I really didn't see what she said as judgmental...she was surprised to hear that some husbands will go to the commissary every time because hers never goes. Why is that judging?

I was starting to think I was crazy or missing something. 

Some people like to pick apart sentences and not take the sentence as a whole. There was nothing wrong with what you said. Just looks like some are a little more sensitive than others. 

Some people like to pick apart sentences and not take the sentence as a whole. There was nothing wrong with what you said. Just looks like some are a little more sensitive than others.

amen :) (ty) 

You aren't crazy, I literally sat there for at least 5 minutes trying to figure out how someone could take offense. Even made my husband read it to see if I was missing something. So now I have a very confused husband who thinks the internet is filled with drama. 

Oh yeah. It was funny cause my friend and I were talking about the word "odd" and mentioned this to her and she was confused too lol. 

Not gonna read the whole thing (been away for a few days), but I did read the start of the original post and omg, I agree. My husband and I knew what we were getting into... there would be times that I would not be available... oh freaking well. 

My computer is obviously deleting a lot of post on this website because there seems to always be a person who just comes out of thin air and randomly rants about something that I'm not seeing!

"Man it's amazing outside today! My dogs have been out back most of the day running around and having fun!"

"I agree! Wonderful clear clue sky!"

[random ranting person]
YOUR DOGS HAVE BEEN OUTSIDE ALL DAY? YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T LEAVE THEM OUT WITH OUT WATER!! YOU BETTER HAVE. IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT GIVE DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME! RAWRRRRRRRRR!!! GROWLLLLL!

"W.T.F?"

"Where did that come from?"

"Did I miss something? Did she say something about dog water?"

[random ranter again]
WELL IT'S MYYYY OPINION. YOU ALL HAVE NO LIVES! NO WONDER PEOPLE HAVE THAT STEREOTYPE ABOUT ARMY WIVES BEING FULL OF DRAMA! I HATE DRAMA! RAWRRRRRRRR! GRRRRRRRR! ^@#^&@#&@!!!


(I'm obviously over doing it but you get my drift.) 

Bb... I just lost it. Hahahah

I guess I'm the odd man out here. My silly old behind will run out of any situation if my husband calls. I won't have my ringer on but I'll feel it vibrate!
I have never been in a situation or conversation that was more important to me than my husbands call. I dont work so I guess that would change things if I did. I'm not on the Facebook so no ranting from me. No shame in my game.. I'll run out on anyone at any time hahahah.
Different strokes for different folks. 

Not gonna read the whole thing (been away for a few days), but I did read the start of the original post and omg, I agree. My husband and I knew what we were getting into... there would be times that I would not be available... oh freaking well.

EXACTLY! This is my husband's 3rd deployment, but his 1st since we've been together. He's discussed with me about what to expect and all that jazz, so the last thing I expect or MAKE my instructor, boss, etc is for me to have my phone and answer it at all times.

@bakedbeans - your post must be getting deleted cause I'm so lost with your post up there LOL.

@TheMom - True, everyone's different, Mostly what I was talking about was the ones that quit their jobs or stop going to school, because they keep missing calls/messages from their deployed spouse. Seems they think they deserve special treatment or are an exception to the rules at work, school, volunteer place, etc. I'm just one that if I miss a call, it still keeps me positive knowing that he is doing well and safe :) 

Amen to that! My husband is deployed right now and I take huge comfort in seeing something as simple as a read email. If I know you are alive and kickin' I'm doing okay! 

@bakedbeans - your post must be getting deleted cause I'm so lost with your post up there LOL.


You have exactly proved my point! LOL. 

Amen to that! My husband is deployed right now and I take huge comfort in seeing something as simple as a read email. If I know you are alive and kickin' I'm doing okay!

Exactly :) Glad to see I'm not the only one like this, cause I was starting to think I was crazy (well for a whole 2 seconds) that we should get some special treatment...umm no thanks, I don't deserve it. I live my life just like any other person / wife, with a few bumps in the road here and there. 

I was over the moon if I was able to get a phone call, but even an email was better than nothing. And as for Skype. That was a joke. Darn thing never even worked right. I have 4 kids to keep me busy and started going to school FT during the last deployment. Staying busy and active is so important b/c it keeps you from worrying so much and becoming a nut. lol. Also, makes the time go by a bit faster. I love my husband but also enjoy being independent. Some people are way too clingy and that's not healthy.